"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30.
What is the greatest obstacle in my life--what prevents me from being yoked with Jesus in daily life? It is the "yes, but...'s" of my life. I read His words, and in my heart I believe them: if I walk with Him, go in His direction, pull with Him the burdens that He has chosen for me, He will make life less burdensome than I can imagine. My mind loves the theory; in fantasy I rejoice at the relief of following Him in everything I do. In practice, when I do follow Him, I find peace and joy.
Then my emotions redirect my spirit. Can He really take care of this relationship? No, I will take over here and resolve this conflict once and for all; my way or the highway. Will He provide for my needs? Well, maybe, but what about those things that are wants that I have converted to needs in my head? Is He really in control of the circumstances of my work? No, He needs my help; not my cooperation, my help since I am so experienced. Is His timing perfect in all things? Well, maybe, but I think I need to push this along just to be sure it gets done on time.
Yes, but....that is how I respond to His invitation to share His yoke. Each time I really say yes and set aside my own agenda, I find peace and joy and knowledge of His love that goes beyond my feeble understanding. Each time I say "yes, but.." I am in effect lying to Him and deceiving myself, for the affirmative followed by "but" really means "no", especially when the "yes" that is called for is one of unconditional faith.
So what's the answer to eliminating or at least reducing the "buts" that follow my "yes"? Prayer...prayer...prayer...layered upon reading His word and topped with a curative dose of humility--asking Him to "help my unbelief" (Mark 9:24), to acknowledge that "in me dwelleth no good thing" (Romans 7:18), and to recognize that His "grace is sufficient" (2 Cor 12:9)--to the extent that I allow Him to lead, to the extent that I pray as I breathe--continually and naturally, to the extent that I lose myself in His sovereignty and trust His omniscience and omnipotence, my burdens become His and I become His more fully than ever before.
Lord, the process is not complete, but You are able to bring us all to completion in You, if not in this life, then as we totally yield in the next. Let our yes's be just "yes" now as in eternity so that we may serve with joy, now and forevermore, and have the peace that only you can provide. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Two Weeks
"....suffering reveals the desolation of the world. Through pride and distraction we cast ourselves out of primeval reality, out of the realm of persons and radiant truth. We precipitate ourselves into a universe of our own making, a world. Here we cannot be happy. We may for a time be diverted by the exuberance of pride or by the pleasures of worldly existence. But the world is an impoverished kingdom. It is made up of objects and is comprehensively impersonal. Within it we are necessarily alienated from self, from others, and from the depths of being that Christians know as God. We are separated from every possible source of enduring joy and peace. Suffering makes this clear to us. It robs us of pleasures and satisfactions of worldly existence, and prompts us to look beyond the world, towards transcendence." Glenn Tinder in Liberty: Rethinking an Imperiled Ideal.
Last week, in terms of being a neonatologist, was a week from Hell, or so it seemed in the midst of the week. The summation of unexpected events, bad outcomes, lack of sleep, straining to meet the normal obligations of being an educator, and just life in general had brought me to a rare point of fatigue. With a weekend trip to see our grandchild in the offing, I was less than enthusiastic about traveling and the additional fatigue that brings to a my 60 year old body.
Yet, as we left the beauty of Mobile in the Spring, the azaleas in full bloom, dogwood trees everywhere, wisteria randomly draping over trees like colorful kudzu, there was a sense of satisfaction that I could not identify. Was it just relief that the week was over? Well, yes, in part. But there was more to it than that. Was it the successes of the week rising like cream above the milk of routine, giving a pleasurable flavor that overcame the sourness of lives disrupted by disease? That was also a part of the sense of completeness that pervaded my being that afternoon.
But as I read Glenn Tinder's essay on Liberty, and as I read the passage that includes the above quote, I was reacquainted with what I already knew, but often choose to deny: difficulty, suffering if you will, brings us to our knees, removes our pride, reduces worldly distractions to dust, and brings us into the stark realization of our dependence on Someone besides ourselves.
This week was different. Routine followed upon routine. Endeavors undertaken were almost uniformly successful, sleep was available if not plentiful, and the week ended as a March that had come in as a lion....meek, quiet, and uneventfully as a lamb.
In a year, in a decade, in eternity, when I look back on the weeks that mattered the most, last week will be more meaningful than this week, more realistic, less worldly in terms of pride and bowing to empty distraction.
That seems "upside down". But reality is not what we see day to day. We see, as Tinder points out elsewhere in his wonderful essay, a distortion of reality shaped to fit our current circumstances and designed to allow us to participate in either control of the now or to escape to the distraction of pleasure.
When true reality, brought on by suffering, becomes our reality, we are brought into the realm of transcendence, into renewed relationship with our Father-God, and no matter the fatigue and seeming hopelessness of the moment, we are led into the green pastures of Psalm 23, the joy and peace of His righteousness, the knowledge of His protection in the valley of the shadow of death.
It is then that the table is set, that our heads are anointed with oil, that our enemies, the agents of suffering, are made to know of His love that overcomes the world, and that we are made to know that we will dwell with Him forever.
Two weeks. What a difference. And when confronted with the choice of one or the other, the grave temptation is to choose the latter. That is the worldliness within me. Thanks be to God that He knows the true reality of what we need and provides, even as we rail against it.
Abba Father.
Last week, in terms of being a neonatologist, was a week from Hell, or so it seemed in the midst of the week. The summation of unexpected events, bad outcomes, lack of sleep, straining to meet the normal obligations of being an educator, and just life in general had brought me to a rare point of fatigue. With a weekend trip to see our grandchild in the offing, I was less than enthusiastic about traveling and the additional fatigue that brings to a my 60 year old body.
Yet, as we left the beauty of Mobile in the Spring, the azaleas in full bloom, dogwood trees everywhere, wisteria randomly draping over trees like colorful kudzu, there was a sense of satisfaction that I could not identify. Was it just relief that the week was over? Well, yes, in part. But there was more to it than that. Was it the successes of the week rising like cream above the milk of routine, giving a pleasurable flavor that overcame the sourness of lives disrupted by disease? That was also a part of the sense of completeness that pervaded my being that afternoon.
But as I read Glenn Tinder's essay on Liberty, and as I read the passage that includes the above quote, I was reacquainted with what I already knew, but often choose to deny: difficulty, suffering if you will, brings us to our knees, removes our pride, reduces worldly distractions to dust, and brings us into the stark realization of our dependence on Someone besides ourselves.
This week was different. Routine followed upon routine. Endeavors undertaken were almost uniformly successful, sleep was available if not plentiful, and the week ended as a March that had come in as a lion....meek, quiet, and uneventfully as a lamb.
In a year, in a decade, in eternity, when I look back on the weeks that mattered the most, last week will be more meaningful than this week, more realistic, less worldly in terms of pride and bowing to empty distraction.
That seems "upside down". But reality is not what we see day to day. We see, as Tinder points out elsewhere in his wonderful essay, a distortion of reality shaped to fit our current circumstances and designed to allow us to participate in either control of the now or to escape to the distraction of pleasure.
When true reality, brought on by suffering, becomes our reality, we are brought into the realm of transcendence, into renewed relationship with our Father-God, and no matter the fatigue and seeming hopelessness of the moment, we are led into the green pastures of Psalm 23, the joy and peace of His righteousness, the knowledge of His protection in the valley of the shadow of death.
It is then that the table is set, that our heads are anointed with oil, that our enemies, the agents of suffering, are made to know of His love that overcomes the world, and that we are made to know that we will dwell with Him forever.
Two weeks. What a difference. And when confronted with the choice of one or the other, the grave temptation is to choose the latter. That is the worldliness within me. Thanks be to God that He knows the true reality of what we need and provides, even as we rail against it.
Abba Father.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
The Servant's Monologue
Note: A few years ago it occurred to me that the servant whose ear was removed in the Garden of Gethsemane is never mentioned again in the Bible. I wondered what would have become of someone who experienced such trauma followed by miraculous healing in the next instant. What follows is where my imagination took me. I pray the Holy Spirit was directing my imagination and that this might have some similarity to what actually happened to that fellow. As noted in The Upper Room Daily Devotional of this date (March 23, 2010), we all are presented with the opportunity to thank Him for our healings, or to just move on with life as though nothing happened. That devotional prompted me to revive this writing and put it here.
And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear. But Jesus answered, “No more of this!” And he touched the man’s ear and healed him. Luke 22:50-51 (NIV)
“Such a long day and night!! In all my years I have never experienced such a time! I know, I know! I say that all the time, but this day really was different, and in a way I’ll never forget!” PAUSE.
“Just wait a minute and I’ll tell you. Sit down, this may take a while.
Where do I begin?! The day began fairly routinely—if you can call any of the recent days routine. Ever since that fellow, Jesus, came on the scene “routine” has taken on a new meaning. Before that things ran pretty smoothly, given that we all operate with Caesar’s iron hand within reach of our throats. But, Rome IS a long way off, and most of the local regiment leaves us alone if we don’t do anything to draw their attention. Until Jesus came along, the people just lived life—well, they lived in some fear—afraid that Caesar might crush them and afraid the Priests might toss them out of the Temple—I guess they lived life, but, like me, they had a hard time seeing the point of it all.
"I mean, our country, the so-called chosen people of God are mostly chosen to be under some dictator’s thumb. For centuries we have existed without so much as a word from God—He used to speak—sometimes out loud, like to Moses—sometimes through the prophets—but at least He spoke. That’s been quite a while ago. Our parents and their parents and any number of generations before them have heard the same stories we have, but none of us have heard anything from God. Well, at least, not unless you believe what this fellow, Jesus, says about himself. He says he is God, or God’s son, at least. I’ve seen his momma—nice lady, but not who I would picture as God’s wife—sorry, a little digression there. He says he is a king—not a good thing to say when Caesar already is king and when Caesar considers himself to be God, too.
"I’ve told you before that the boss, to keep things stable, was willing to ignore Caesar’s claims—as he says, ‘Let the heathen Romans do what they want so long as they leave us alone.’ After all, the boss and all the rest of the priests have it pretty good. So do we, by the way. They tell the people when to jump and how high, and if the people don’t obey, watch out! Caesar might kill you but the boss can make you wish you were dead. I mean, dead is dead and that can only happen once—but living and being treated like you’re not even there because you broke one of the rules—that’s seems worse than death. PAUSE.
"Yeah, you’re right, being on the inside has its perks—he expects a lot from us, but he knows us and cuts us a little slack on some of the stuff—after all, he cuts himself a lot of slack, too, when no one but he and I are around.
"But—stability—that’s his favorite word—and it was going pretty well until Jesus showed up. Once people saw what he could do they began to listen to him and things haven’t been the same since.
"Wouldn’t you be tempted to listen? I was. By the way, have you listened to him? I have. I mean, the guy, right before hundreds of witnesses, tells this paralytic to get up and walk and the guy does it!! A hoax you say? Not a chance. I’ve known that cripple for twenty years. He’s never so much as wiggled a toe. And Jesus says “get up,” and off he goes! That was an unfortunate incident for Jesus, by the way—bad choice of words at first. He said, “Your sins are forgiven” right before he told him to walk. The boss’s men went crazy! They called him on his choice of words, so he looked at them calmly—stared a hole right through them, like he could see their souls, and said, “Take your mat and walk,” as if one phrase was as good as the other.
"At any rate, the fellow walked. Pretty much left all those Pharisees and priests speechless—they had never seen anything like that, and they had sure never done anything like that. And maybe if he had only done it once you could say—ah, coincidence—but he’s been doing that kind of thing for years now. And then he talks—and they listen—I mean, can you blame them? Would you rather listen to someone who can perform miracles whenever he wants, or to this dried up bag of bones and his father-in-law?
"You can see why the boss is threatened. Rome is a little sensitive about people claiming to be king. And that parade last week didn’t help any. After all, it wasn’t Caesar or Caiaphas they were cheering—it was Jesus. Those kinds of things get back to Rome—even that dote, Herod, has to have heard about it by now. And this Roman governor, Pilate, is scared of his own shadow when it comes to Caesar. Ah, if Jesus had just stayed up in Galilee; if he had just healed folks and let it be. But, he seems hell-bent on getting himself killed—or if not, he surely isn’t approaching things quietly anymore. Twice now he has disrupted business as usual at the Temple—it was really funny to watch, though I couldn’t let Caiaphas see me snickering. Jesus chased those cheats and all their paraphernalia right out of the place. I think he was right, too. I may be a little thick-skinned about all that, but that IS the house of God and they WERE thieves.
"And what about Lazarus—no one trying to keep a low profile calls a dead man back from the grave and then sits to have dinner with him while the whole community of mourners is standing by. That was the last straw—the parade and the Temple scene were really ticking off the boss, but when Jesus brought Lazarus back, there was no more looking the other way. PAUSE.
"You know, now that you mention it, I don’t understand why it bothers him so much, either. Seems like he would be better off just ignoring it all, but he and his father-in-law are really threatened by this fellow. I can’t decide if it’s just self-preservation or if Jesus is stepping on their pride a bit, too. And for sure he’s putting some dents in all the rules, and rules equal control, and Caiaphas is BIG on control. I think he’s afraid if the common folks realize that there’s another way of life out there that doesn’t involve living under his rules, his priesthood is useless. I used to think he was deep-down motivated by his desire to serve God, but I don’t believe that any more. He is just trying to maintain the status quo. PAUSE.
"Okay, okay, I’ll get on with the story. Anyway, Jesus would probably have died sooner or later, but one of his own must have decided to hurry the process. Just when Caiaphas and Annanias were trying to figure out a way to get rid of him, this guy, Judas, a local, who is one of Jesus’ followers, offers to serve him up for a little bounty. The boss and the old guy jumped on the offer and the next thing you know we’re all traipsing out into the countryside to find Jesus. It wasn’t like we hadn’t seen him almost everyday recently. But the boss decided this was the time. It’s ironic—we end up arresting him right before Passover. If they kill him now it’ll be like he is dying at the exact time he would have picked if he had planned it all along—a Passover lamb, that’s what he will be! PAUSE.
"The blood on my shirt? Wow, I got so busy talking about Jesus that I forgot to tell you what happened in the Garden of Gethsemane—you won’t believe it even after I tell you, but it’s the truth. We go out to the Garden to find him—someone had seen them heading that way earlier in the night. This fellow, Judas, is to kiss Jesus so we are sure we get the right person—that seems silly, but you know how all Galileans look alike sometimes. We come up to their group and Judas pecks Jesus on the cheek. The head of the guard detail asks him if he is Jesus and he says, “I am.” The next thing you know we are all picking ourselves off the ground without even knowing what hit us. Must have been an earthquake or something. Anyway, he could have run, but he just stood there, looking calmer than I could have under the circumstances.
"Then one of his men—I think his name is Peter—some fisherman that has followed him around for years, whips out his sword and takes a wild swing. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He slices my ear right off the side of my head—blood is going everywhere and I’m so stunned I can’t even speak! I’m bending over, holding my right ear, but somehow I could still hear Jesus say something to the fellow with the sword, as if he was angry at him. Then I feel a hand on the side of my head, right where the pain is and instantly the pain is gone and the bleeding is stopped. I instinctively put my hand up to where my ear used to be and it was totally normal, back in place like nothing had ever happened. PAUSE.
"No, dear, I haven’t been out drinking. I haven’t had a drop tonight, though there was a point that I would have had one if it had been available. I’m telling you, when that fellow swung the sword, my ear hit the ground—I saw it, and I felt where it had been for the last 50 years, and it wasn’t there. The side of my face was on fire. And when Jesus touched me, the pain was gone, and the ear was as good as new—in fact, my gimpy knee quit hurting and my back pain that I’ve had for 15 years is gone, too. From the instant he touched me, my body felt like it was new!! PAUSE.
"You know, I had been so stunned by all that went on, I never really stopped to think about it—you’re right—it was a miracle. Jesus performed a miracle on me, one of the people who had come to arrest him. And there was a kindness in his eyes that I have never seen. All of this has made me think:
"I have spent my whole life around religion—my father served Annanias and I serve Caiaphas. I have heard all the rules and followed them, mostly, but I’ve never known why. What is the purpose in all this? The boss says we are to remain pure as the chosen ones—that from our people the Messiah will come and make our nation powerful again. I guess that would be better than being at the mercy of Caesar or worse yet, Herod and his homicidal whims. But it would still be politics—one guy using his leverage to control the rest. I just don’t see much purpose for me or any other little man in all that. Only one guy can be king and only a few get the rewards that go with that. For the rest of us its business as usual—same song, different verse.
Why can’t there be real peace? This fellow, Jesus, for all the trouble he has created, has not lifted a finger to hurt anyone. All he has done is heal people and spend time talking to the common folks—and to the Pharisees who think for themselves. He says his kingdom is not of this earth—what does that mean? What other kingdoms are there? PAUSE.
"What do you mean—heaven? You think he’s talking about heaven? Life after life? Well, now that you bring that up, it fits. He really doesn’t seem to care about political power—he doesn’t seek it, nor does he pay much attention to what power surrounds him. He IS focused on something else, for sure. And you know, he does do things that we thought only God can do—even if God hasn’t done them in a long time—he heals, he raises people from the dead, he treats the Temple like it was his own place—even called it his father’s house—what did he mean by that?
"Maybe I’ve been wrong about him all along. He’s not a troublemaker. And he’s not trying to get himself killed. He’s just right and he knows it and he’s not going to change to please the boss. He’ll probably die today for being right, but I know what he did for me and I won’t forget him. What if he is God’s son…..?"
A week later………..
"Praise God. Praise Him forever and forever. God is Holy. He IS a God of love, and he has been there all along; we just did not see clearly. We did not understand. PAUSE.
"No, I’m not out of my mind—I’m excited—just give me a chance to explain and you will be, too. Remember how I talked about Jesus and how he healed my ear, and how his touch had a power I had never known? And then the same day they crucified him along with two thieves. He even died so quickly that the soldiers did not even bother to break his legs to finish him off. So he’s dead, right? Wrong!! Today I saw him—he spoke to me, put his hand on my shoulder and spoke to me. PAUSE.
"I know it was him—his hands still had the scars from the crucifixion nails, that’s one way—but the real reason was the eyes—ever since that day when he healed the cripple, I have remembered the eyes. He looks at you and in you and through you all at once. I was almost too stunned to hear, but what he said was as clear as could be: “Your sins are forgiven. Tell others about what I have done for you.” When I started to ask him, “Why me? Why did you heal me?”, he was gone. No one with me saw it—they think I’m crazy, that the blow to my head last week is still affecting me. But his touch, then and now, were not in my imagination. One cannot conjure up the healing of an ear or the incredible joy that flowed into me today. I may serve in the house of the high priest, and I will do my job even better than ever, but my King is not Caesar, my high priest is not Caiaphas and my salvation is not in my hands, but the hands of Jesus. Jesus of Nazareth is the Christ, the Messiah—yes, IS, not was! He died for me—he IS the Passover lamb—and God raised him from the dead; he raised His son from the dead. Please believe me—my life will never be the same. Ask God for His healing, for his forgiveness and your life will never be the same either. I love you, and I want you to know Him, too.
And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear. But Jesus answered, “No more of this!” And he touched the man’s ear and healed him. Luke 22:50-51 (NIV)
“Such a long day and night!! In all my years I have never experienced such a time! I know, I know! I say that all the time, but this day really was different, and in a way I’ll never forget!” PAUSE.
“Just wait a minute and I’ll tell you. Sit down, this may take a while.
Where do I begin?! The day began fairly routinely—if you can call any of the recent days routine. Ever since that fellow, Jesus, came on the scene “routine” has taken on a new meaning. Before that things ran pretty smoothly, given that we all operate with Caesar’s iron hand within reach of our throats. But, Rome IS a long way off, and most of the local regiment leaves us alone if we don’t do anything to draw their attention. Until Jesus came along, the people just lived life—well, they lived in some fear—afraid that Caesar might crush them and afraid the Priests might toss them out of the Temple—I guess they lived life, but, like me, they had a hard time seeing the point of it all.
"I mean, our country, the so-called chosen people of God are mostly chosen to be under some dictator’s thumb. For centuries we have existed without so much as a word from God—He used to speak—sometimes out loud, like to Moses—sometimes through the prophets—but at least He spoke. That’s been quite a while ago. Our parents and their parents and any number of generations before them have heard the same stories we have, but none of us have heard anything from God. Well, at least, not unless you believe what this fellow, Jesus, says about himself. He says he is God, or God’s son, at least. I’ve seen his momma—nice lady, but not who I would picture as God’s wife—sorry, a little digression there. He says he is a king—not a good thing to say when Caesar already is king and when Caesar considers himself to be God, too.
"I’ve told you before that the boss, to keep things stable, was willing to ignore Caesar’s claims—as he says, ‘Let the heathen Romans do what they want so long as they leave us alone.’ After all, the boss and all the rest of the priests have it pretty good. So do we, by the way. They tell the people when to jump and how high, and if the people don’t obey, watch out! Caesar might kill you but the boss can make you wish you were dead. I mean, dead is dead and that can only happen once—but living and being treated like you’re not even there because you broke one of the rules—that’s seems worse than death. PAUSE.
"Yeah, you’re right, being on the inside has its perks—he expects a lot from us, but he knows us and cuts us a little slack on some of the stuff—after all, he cuts himself a lot of slack, too, when no one but he and I are around.
"But—stability—that’s his favorite word—and it was going pretty well until Jesus showed up. Once people saw what he could do they began to listen to him and things haven’t been the same since.
"Wouldn’t you be tempted to listen? I was. By the way, have you listened to him? I have. I mean, the guy, right before hundreds of witnesses, tells this paralytic to get up and walk and the guy does it!! A hoax you say? Not a chance. I’ve known that cripple for twenty years. He’s never so much as wiggled a toe. And Jesus says “get up,” and off he goes! That was an unfortunate incident for Jesus, by the way—bad choice of words at first. He said, “Your sins are forgiven” right before he told him to walk. The boss’s men went crazy! They called him on his choice of words, so he looked at them calmly—stared a hole right through them, like he could see their souls, and said, “Take your mat and walk,” as if one phrase was as good as the other.
"At any rate, the fellow walked. Pretty much left all those Pharisees and priests speechless—they had never seen anything like that, and they had sure never done anything like that. And maybe if he had only done it once you could say—ah, coincidence—but he’s been doing that kind of thing for years now. And then he talks—and they listen—I mean, can you blame them? Would you rather listen to someone who can perform miracles whenever he wants, or to this dried up bag of bones and his father-in-law?
"You can see why the boss is threatened. Rome is a little sensitive about people claiming to be king. And that parade last week didn’t help any. After all, it wasn’t Caesar or Caiaphas they were cheering—it was Jesus. Those kinds of things get back to Rome—even that dote, Herod, has to have heard about it by now. And this Roman governor, Pilate, is scared of his own shadow when it comes to Caesar. Ah, if Jesus had just stayed up in Galilee; if he had just healed folks and let it be. But, he seems hell-bent on getting himself killed—or if not, he surely isn’t approaching things quietly anymore. Twice now he has disrupted business as usual at the Temple—it was really funny to watch, though I couldn’t let Caiaphas see me snickering. Jesus chased those cheats and all their paraphernalia right out of the place. I think he was right, too. I may be a little thick-skinned about all that, but that IS the house of God and they WERE thieves.
"And what about Lazarus—no one trying to keep a low profile calls a dead man back from the grave and then sits to have dinner with him while the whole community of mourners is standing by. That was the last straw—the parade and the Temple scene were really ticking off the boss, but when Jesus brought Lazarus back, there was no more looking the other way. PAUSE.
"You know, now that you mention it, I don’t understand why it bothers him so much, either. Seems like he would be better off just ignoring it all, but he and his father-in-law are really threatened by this fellow. I can’t decide if it’s just self-preservation or if Jesus is stepping on their pride a bit, too. And for sure he’s putting some dents in all the rules, and rules equal control, and Caiaphas is BIG on control. I think he’s afraid if the common folks realize that there’s another way of life out there that doesn’t involve living under his rules, his priesthood is useless. I used to think he was deep-down motivated by his desire to serve God, but I don’t believe that any more. He is just trying to maintain the status quo. PAUSE.
"Okay, okay, I’ll get on with the story. Anyway, Jesus would probably have died sooner or later, but one of his own must have decided to hurry the process. Just when Caiaphas and Annanias were trying to figure out a way to get rid of him, this guy, Judas, a local, who is one of Jesus’ followers, offers to serve him up for a little bounty. The boss and the old guy jumped on the offer and the next thing you know we’re all traipsing out into the countryside to find Jesus. It wasn’t like we hadn’t seen him almost everyday recently. But the boss decided this was the time. It’s ironic—we end up arresting him right before Passover. If they kill him now it’ll be like he is dying at the exact time he would have picked if he had planned it all along—a Passover lamb, that’s what he will be! PAUSE.
"The blood on my shirt? Wow, I got so busy talking about Jesus that I forgot to tell you what happened in the Garden of Gethsemane—you won’t believe it even after I tell you, but it’s the truth. We go out to the Garden to find him—someone had seen them heading that way earlier in the night. This fellow, Judas, is to kiss Jesus so we are sure we get the right person—that seems silly, but you know how all Galileans look alike sometimes. We come up to their group and Judas pecks Jesus on the cheek. The head of the guard detail asks him if he is Jesus and he says, “I am.” The next thing you know we are all picking ourselves off the ground without even knowing what hit us. Must have been an earthquake or something. Anyway, he could have run, but he just stood there, looking calmer than I could have under the circumstances.
"Then one of his men—I think his name is Peter—some fisherman that has followed him around for years, whips out his sword and takes a wild swing. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He slices my ear right off the side of my head—blood is going everywhere and I’m so stunned I can’t even speak! I’m bending over, holding my right ear, but somehow I could still hear Jesus say something to the fellow with the sword, as if he was angry at him. Then I feel a hand on the side of my head, right where the pain is and instantly the pain is gone and the bleeding is stopped. I instinctively put my hand up to where my ear used to be and it was totally normal, back in place like nothing had ever happened. PAUSE.
"No, dear, I haven’t been out drinking. I haven’t had a drop tonight, though there was a point that I would have had one if it had been available. I’m telling you, when that fellow swung the sword, my ear hit the ground—I saw it, and I felt where it had been for the last 50 years, and it wasn’t there. The side of my face was on fire. And when Jesus touched me, the pain was gone, and the ear was as good as new—in fact, my gimpy knee quit hurting and my back pain that I’ve had for 15 years is gone, too. From the instant he touched me, my body felt like it was new!! PAUSE.
"You know, I had been so stunned by all that went on, I never really stopped to think about it—you’re right—it was a miracle. Jesus performed a miracle on me, one of the people who had come to arrest him. And there was a kindness in his eyes that I have never seen. All of this has made me think:
"I have spent my whole life around religion—my father served Annanias and I serve Caiaphas. I have heard all the rules and followed them, mostly, but I’ve never known why. What is the purpose in all this? The boss says we are to remain pure as the chosen ones—that from our people the Messiah will come and make our nation powerful again. I guess that would be better than being at the mercy of Caesar or worse yet, Herod and his homicidal whims. But it would still be politics—one guy using his leverage to control the rest. I just don’t see much purpose for me or any other little man in all that. Only one guy can be king and only a few get the rewards that go with that. For the rest of us its business as usual—same song, different verse.
Why can’t there be real peace? This fellow, Jesus, for all the trouble he has created, has not lifted a finger to hurt anyone. All he has done is heal people and spend time talking to the common folks—and to the Pharisees who think for themselves. He says his kingdom is not of this earth—what does that mean? What other kingdoms are there? PAUSE.
"What do you mean—heaven? You think he’s talking about heaven? Life after life? Well, now that you bring that up, it fits. He really doesn’t seem to care about political power—he doesn’t seek it, nor does he pay much attention to what power surrounds him. He IS focused on something else, for sure. And you know, he does do things that we thought only God can do—even if God hasn’t done them in a long time—he heals, he raises people from the dead, he treats the Temple like it was his own place—even called it his father’s house—what did he mean by that?
"Maybe I’ve been wrong about him all along. He’s not a troublemaker. And he’s not trying to get himself killed. He’s just right and he knows it and he’s not going to change to please the boss. He’ll probably die today for being right, but I know what he did for me and I won’t forget him. What if he is God’s son…..?"
A week later………..
"Praise God. Praise Him forever and forever. God is Holy. He IS a God of love, and he has been there all along; we just did not see clearly. We did not understand. PAUSE.
"No, I’m not out of my mind—I’m excited—just give me a chance to explain and you will be, too. Remember how I talked about Jesus and how he healed my ear, and how his touch had a power I had never known? And then the same day they crucified him along with two thieves. He even died so quickly that the soldiers did not even bother to break his legs to finish him off. So he’s dead, right? Wrong!! Today I saw him—he spoke to me, put his hand on my shoulder and spoke to me. PAUSE.
"I know it was him—his hands still had the scars from the crucifixion nails, that’s one way—but the real reason was the eyes—ever since that day when he healed the cripple, I have remembered the eyes. He looks at you and in you and through you all at once. I was almost too stunned to hear, but what he said was as clear as could be: “Your sins are forgiven. Tell others about what I have done for you.” When I started to ask him, “Why me? Why did you heal me?”, he was gone. No one with me saw it—they think I’m crazy, that the blow to my head last week is still affecting me. But his touch, then and now, were not in my imagination. One cannot conjure up the healing of an ear or the incredible joy that flowed into me today. I may serve in the house of the high priest, and I will do my job even better than ever, but my King is not Caesar, my high priest is not Caiaphas and my salvation is not in my hands, but the hands of Jesus. Jesus of Nazareth is the Christ, the Messiah—yes, IS, not was! He died for me—he IS the Passover lamb—and God raised him from the dead; he raised His son from the dead. Please believe me—my life will never be the same. Ask God for His healing, for his forgiveness and your life will never be the same either. I love you, and I want you to know Him, too.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Jesus Has Been There Before
Had a few bad days; a whole string of 'em to be exact. Decided to examine Hebrews 4:15. Did Jesus really know, first hand, what I was going through? Think about it as you read; if you think of other, better examples, comment and I will edit this to include them. Its been a healing exercise for me. I pray you receive something of benefit from it, also. KJP
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. (Hebrews 4:15)
Have you ever been hungry with no food available? Thirsty with no water at hand?
And after He had fasted forty days and forty nights, He then became hungry. (Matthew 4:2)
Have your good intentions been misinterpreted, causing those around you to be angry when you meant well?
Those who had seen it described to them how it had happened to the demon-possessed man, and all about the swine. And they began to implore Him to leave their region. (Mark 5:16-17)
Has your family ever asked you for help when you were not prepared?
When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to Him, "They have no wine." And Jesus said to her, "Woman, what does that have to do with us? My hour has not yet come." His mother said to the servants, "Whatever He says to you, do it." (John 2:3-5)
Has a friend ever betrayed your trust, causing you deep emotional pain?
And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said to him, "Before the cock crows today, you will deny me three times." (Luke 22:61)
Has anyone ever threatened your physical well-being without justification?
Now the chief priests and the whole Council kept trying to obtain false testimony against Jesus, so that they might put Him to death. (Matthew 26:59)
Has anyone spoken poorly of you and tried to discredit you simply out of vengeance?
In the same way the chief priests also, along with the scribes and elders, were mocking Him and saying, "He saved others; He cannot save Himself. He is the King of Israel; let Him now come down from the cross, and we will believe in Him. (Matthew 27:41-42)
Have those you have been most generous to been ungrateful, even spiteful, taking advantage of you and then showing no gratitude?
Then one of the twelve, named Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests. (Matthew 26:14)
Has anyone ever stolen from you, struck you, tried to murder you?
Then the soldiers, when they had crucified Jesus, took His garments and made four parts, to each soldier a part, and also the tunic. (John 19:23a)
Has your family and friends ever doubted your abilities?
Jesus said to him, "Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." (John 20:29)
Have loved ones ever abandoned you, or at least did that possibility seem utterly real?
And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" which is translated, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?" (Mark 15:34)
Have those you hold most dear not been there when you needed them most?
Then Jesus said to them, "All of you will be made to stumble because of Me this night, for it is written: "I will strike the Shepherd, And the sheep will be scattered.' (Mark 14:27)
Have you ever lost a close friend?
Now when Jesus heard about John, He withdrew from there in a boat to a secluded place by Himself; (Matthew 14:13a)
Have you ever had a day you dreaded?
And being in agony He was praying very fervently; and His sweat became like drops of blood, falling down upon the ground. (Luke 22:44)
Have you ever asked God to change your circumstances, even though you knew you were where he needed you?
And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will." (Matthew 26:39)
Jesus has been there before, and He knows your pain. Put your pain in His hands, and trust Him.
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. (Hebrews 4:15)
Have you ever been hungry with no food available? Thirsty with no water at hand?
And after He had fasted forty days and forty nights, He then became hungry. (Matthew 4:2)
Have your good intentions been misinterpreted, causing those around you to be angry when you meant well?
Those who had seen it described to them how it had happened to the demon-possessed man, and all about the swine. And they began to implore Him to leave their region. (Mark 5:16-17)
Has your family ever asked you for help when you were not prepared?
When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to Him, "They have no wine." And Jesus said to her, "Woman, what does that have to do with us? My hour has not yet come." His mother said to the servants, "Whatever He says to you, do it." (John 2:3-5)
Has a friend ever betrayed your trust, causing you deep emotional pain?
And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said to him, "Before the cock crows today, you will deny me three times." (Luke 22:61)
Has anyone ever threatened your physical well-being without justification?
Now the chief priests and the whole Council kept trying to obtain false testimony against Jesus, so that they might put Him to death. (Matthew 26:59)
Has anyone spoken poorly of you and tried to discredit you simply out of vengeance?
In the same way the chief priests also, along with the scribes and elders, were mocking Him and saying, "He saved others; He cannot save Himself. He is the King of Israel; let Him now come down from the cross, and we will believe in Him. (Matthew 27:41-42)
Have those you have been most generous to been ungrateful, even spiteful, taking advantage of you and then showing no gratitude?
Then one of the twelve, named Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests. (Matthew 26:14)
Has anyone ever stolen from you, struck you, tried to murder you?
Then the soldiers, when they had crucified Jesus, took His garments and made four parts, to each soldier a part, and also the tunic. (John 19:23a)
Has your family and friends ever doubted your abilities?
Jesus said to him, "Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." (John 20:29)
Have loved ones ever abandoned you, or at least did that possibility seem utterly real?
And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" which is translated, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?" (Mark 15:34)
Have those you hold most dear not been there when you needed them most?
Then Jesus said to them, "All of you will be made to stumble because of Me this night, for it is written: "I will strike the Shepherd, And the sheep will be scattered.' (Mark 14:27)
Have you ever lost a close friend?
Now when Jesus heard about John, He withdrew from there in a boat to a secluded place by Himself; (Matthew 14:13a)
Have you ever had a day you dreaded?
And being in agony He was praying very fervently; and His sweat became like drops of blood, falling down upon the ground. (Luke 22:44)
Have you ever asked God to change your circumstances, even though you knew you were where he needed you?
And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will." (Matthew 26:39)
Jesus has been there before, and He knows your pain. Put your pain in His hands, and trust Him.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
2010: Look Around, and Love
Many years before I attended medical school, I am told, the tradition in medical schools on the first day of the first year was to tell each student: “Look to your left and look to your right. The students sitting in those seats won’t be here next year.” Attrition was an assumption of the system in those days, and “only the strong survived.”
Maybe it’s my age, maybe it’s the fact that my parents and one of my siblings have already passed into the portion of eternity beyond our eyes, maybe it’s because one of my most beloved friends came close to that same step late last year…somehow I feel like I should “look to my left and look to my right” at the beginning of this year and realize that someone here and visible right now will not be here this time next year. Someone won’t be strong; someone will not survive 2010.
What then? Why should I consider that seemingly morose possibility? I guess there are a number of reasons……or maybe only one.
If I knew someone in my life had less than a year to live, how might I change my attitude towards them? Might I be more likely to overlook their foibles? Might I be less irritated when they refuse to overlook mine? Would I be more likely to call them “on the spur” rather than needing an appointment, or rather than thinking, “I’ll get around to that later,” knowing that later will likely not come soon? Would I be inclined to give the little gifts that I know they love without wanting or expecting anything in return? Would the trip we had always talked about taking together suddenly become a priority instead of a fantasy? Might their politics not matter so much? Would the fact that they are a pre-millennial dispensationalist or an Alabama fan really matter? Would race or gender or “you name it differences” really be a bucket that would hold the water of disagreement or resentment anymore?
I think the answers to all those questions would be no. And that means the question would really become just one: Might I love them more unconditionally? And the answer, without doubt, would be yes.
Okay, given that I am not omniscient (I nor you nor any human can generally see the future. We live our lives in prospect. We live with the assumption that what was true today, generally, will be the template for tomorrow, and the next and the next.) If we lack omniscience, and if each of our loved ones is undoubtedly a temporal being in this life, then maybe, just maybe, I should focus on treating each of them with the unconditional love that I would attempt if I knew, for sure, that before next year they would have passed into eternity.
So, take some time. "Look to your left and look to your right"; someone you love will not survive the year. Love each person as if they were that person, and if, at the end of the year, they are all still there, and you are still here, you won’t have lost a thing; you will have gained. In the Christian tradition, you will have “stored up treasures in heaven”. If you are not a Christian, you will have still acted like Jesus would have liked, so maybe you are and He just knows it before you do. Remember, He is the one who said, “When you did it unto these who are the least (loved them), you did it unto me (loved me).” When you love God’s creatures you love Him.
Have a great 2010…..and look around.
Maybe it’s my age, maybe it’s the fact that my parents and one of my siblings have already passed into the portion of eternity beyond our eyes, maybe it’s because one of my most beloved friends came close to that same step late last year…somehow I feel like I should “look to my left and look to my right” at the beginning of this year and realize that someone here and visible right now will not be here this time next year. Someone won’t be strong; someone will not survive 2010.
What then? Why should I consider that seemingly morose possibility? I guess there are a number of reasons……or maybe only one.
If I knew someone in my life had less than a year to live, how might I change my attitude towards them? Might I be more likely to overlook their foibles? Might I be less irritated when they refuse to overlook mine? Would I be more likely to call them “on the spur” rather than needing an appointment, or rather than thinking, “I’ll get around to that later,” knowing that later will likely not come soon? Would I be inclined to give the little gifts that I know they love without wanting or expecting anything in return? Would the trip we had always talked about taking together suddenly become a priority instead of a fantasy? Might their politics not matter so much? Would the fact that they are a pre-millennial dispensationalist or an Alabama fan really matter? Would race or gender or “you name it differences” really be a bucket that would hold the water of disagreement or resentment anymore?
I think the answers to all those questions would be no. And that means the question would really become just one: Might I love them more unconditionally? And the answer, without doubt, would be yes.
Okay, given that I am not omniscient (I nor you nor any human can generally see the future. We live our lives in prospect. We live with the assumption that what was true today, generally, will be the template for tomorrow, and the next and the next.) If we lack omniscience, and if each of our loved ones is undoubtedly a temporal being in this life, then maybe, just maybe, I should focus on treating each of them with the unconditional love that I would attempt if I knew, for sure, that before next year they would have passed into eternity.
So, take some time. "Look to your left and look to your right"; someone you love will not survive the year. Love each person as if they were that person, and if, at the end of the year, they are all still there, and you are still here, you won’t have lost a thing; you will have gained. In the Christian tradition, you will have “stored up treasures in heaven”. If you are not a Christian, you will have still acted like Jesus would have liked, so maybe you are and He just knows it before you do. Remember, He is the one who said, “When you did it unto these who are the least (loved them), you did it unto me (loved me).” When you love God’s creatures you love Him.
Have a great 2010…..and look around.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Let It Be So
Jesus lay in a manger, totally dependent on human beings to provide his basic human needs. The Author of the Universe had a bed of straw, was a blanket’s protection away from dying of cold exposure in the chill Middle Eastern night, had a common laborer to lead and protect his family, to guide his upbringing, to be the husband to the mother of God.
Jesus, for the moment, was out of control, totally dependent upon God the Father providing for His needs. When Herod was a threat, God used Joseph and Mary to carry Him to safety in Egypt. When that threat passed, God used them to teach Jesus the fundamentals of growing in wisdom in the culture of the Chosen people. When Jesus stayed behind in the Temple while His family traveled back home to Nazareth God used the experience to open the eyes and hearts of Jesus’ earthly family to His eventual mission, and perhaps, to educate the young Jesus in being responsible to His earthly family.
But it all began with the helpless babe. God incarnate did not descend in adult form, ready to take on the evil of the world as an omniscient and omnipotent King. He came as a babe, and God ordained that coming.
If God trusted His Son to an earthly entry of the most poor and tenuous sort, trusted His upbringing to imperfect humans, trusted that He would recognize His identity and submit Himself to the Father, trusted that He would be obedient and die the death so that God could raise Him from the grave…..
Why do I doubt that my circumstances are beyond God’s control? Why do I become anxious over the routine daily roadblocks that happen in my life and in the life of every human being with the capacity to know they exist? Why do I fear the outcome of things over which I have no control, things over which the God Who oversaw the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, is in total control?
Did He not see you and me as babes? Did He not provide for our sustenance through the humans that cared for us? Did He not give us minds to learn, emotions to love and be loved, spirits to seek, and souls to be saved by His grace? Can we not look back and see our “escapes to Egypt”, our moments of learning from irresponsible behavior, our epiphanies, our fulfilled prophecies, our realizations of the promises He has kept?
Do I really want to persist in trying to control the uncontrollable, to anticipate the unknowable, to prevent the inevitable, to deny that apparent mortality followed by an inescapable immortality is the fate of all, that God’s grace, once received is not revocable but a seal of life, that God’s grace persistently rejected is not recoverable, but a seal of eternal separation from all that is love?
Crumble my pride, break my rebellious spirit, bring me back to the attitude of the babe in arms: dependence, humility, openly loving and desiring to be loved, needing relationship, first with the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and then with all who will be in relationship with me. Abba, Father, let it be so. Amen.
Jesus, for the moment, was out of control, totally dependent upon God the Father providing for His needs. When Herod was a threat, God used Joseph and Mary to carry Him to safety in Egypt. When that threat passed, God used them to teach Jesus the fundamentals of growing in wisdom in the culture of the Chosen people. When Jesus stayed behind in the Temple while His family traveled back home to Nazareth God used the experience to open the eyes and hearts of Jesus’ earthly family to His eventual mission, and perhaps, to educate the young Jesus in being responsible to His earthly family.
But it all began with the helpless babe. God incarnate did not descend in adult form, ready to take on the evil of the world as an omniscient and omnipotent King. He came as a babe, and God ordained that coming.
If God trusted His Son to an earthly entry of the most poor and tenuous sort, trusted His upbringing to imperfect humans, trusted that He would recognize His identity and submit Himself to the Father, trusted that He would be obedient and die the death so that God could raise Him from the grave…..
Why do I doubt that my circumstances are beyond God’s control? Why do I become anxious over the routine daily roadblocks that happen in my life and in the life of every human being with the capacity to know they exist? Why do I fear the outcome of things over which I have no control, things over which the God Who oversaw the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, is in total control?
Did He not see you and me as babes? Did He not provide for our sustenance through the humans that cared for us? Did He not give us minds to learn, emotions to love and be loved, spirits to seek, and souls to be saved by His grace? Can we not look back and see our “escapes to Egypt”, our moments of learning from irresponsible behavior, our epiphanies, our fulfilled prophecies, our realizations of the promises He has kept?
Do I really want to persist in trying to control the uncontrollable, to anticipate the unknowable, to prevent the inevitable, to deny that apparent mortality followed by an inescapable immortality is the fate of all, that God’s grace, once received is not revocable but a seal of life, that God’s grace persistently rejected is not recoverable, but a seal of eternal separation from all that is love?
Crumble my pride, break my rebellious spirit, bring me back to the attitude of the babe in arms: dependence, humility, openly loving and desiring to be loved, needing relationship, first with the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and then with all who will be in relationship with me. Abba, Father, let it be so. Amen.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
His Love
There are days full of blue sky, bathed in sunshine and covered in the coolness of fall or early spring. In those days one can be appreciative, can see the beauty without strain, and can trust in the creative Spirit that produced such a colorful and tranquil surrounding. On those days, life can be just as tranquil when I trust Him Who created the day; it is as if He is shouting to me, “See I love you, and this is the day I have made just for you.”
There are other days, rainy days, full of squalls--blustery, cold days in which the sun is obviously somewhere, for there is light, but what my eye sees is the storm illuminated by the light. In those days, too, there is beauty, though with some storms the beauty is tempered by the fear of the power behind the storm. It is as if He is saying, “See, I love you, and my grace is sufficient to protect you from the turbulence of all life's storms."
There are nights, nights of incredible clearness, nights with the reflected light of the moon, and, in the dark countryside, the individual lights of the millions of suns that cover the sky, pinpoints of creation; lights that give me a perspective of the vastness of creation that cannot be known by sight in the day. It is as if He is saying, “In the darkness is my light most visible, and the extent of creation most apparent; see the vastness of my love just for you.”
There are other nights, nights shrouded by heavy clouds, nights in which the lights of the moon and stars are not to be seen, in which the darkness is something I can feel as palpable around me; darkness in which I only know of my existence and the existence of my surroundings by senses other than sight. In those nights, when I cannot see, it is as if He is saying, “This night is for your faith; only in these nights can you know me most intimately; only in these surroundings, forgetting the past, not knowing the future, living only in this moment and then the next, can you know me most completely. Only in this night is my love unattended by a vision of the creation, and therefore most fully to be known. See this as my complete love for you, and that you need nothing else.”
There are other days, rainy days, full of squalls--blustery, cold days in which the sun is obviously somewhere, for there is light, but what my eye sees is the storm illuminated by the light. In those days, too, there is beauty, though with some storms the beauty is tempered by the fear of the power behind the storm. It is as if He is saying, “See, I love you, and my grace is sufficient to protect you from the turbulence of all life's storms."
There are nights, nights of incredible clearness, nights with the reflected light of the moon, and, in the dark countryside, the individual lights of the millions of suns that cover the sky, pinpoints of creation; lights that give me a perspective of the vastness of creation that cannot be known by sight in the day. It is as if He is saying, “In the darkness is my light most visible, and the extent of creation most apparent; see the vastness of my love just for you.”
There are other nights, nights shrouded by heavy clouds, nights in which the lights of the moon and stars are not to be seen, in which the darkness is something I can feel as palpable around me; darkness in which I only know of my existence and the existence of my surroundings by senses other than sight. In those nights, when I cannot see, it is as if He is saying, “This night is for your faith; only in these nights can you know me most intimately; only in these surroundings, forgetting the past, not knowing the future, living only in this moment and then the next, can you know me most completely. Only in this night is my love unattended by a vision of the creation, and therefore most fully to be known. See this as my complete love for you, and that you need nothing else.”
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