Simon Peter and the Rest of Us

And Peter remembered the saying of Jesus, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times." And he went out and wept bitterly.  Matthew 26:75

When I read of Peter's remorseful response to his denial of Christ, I feel not just sympathy but empathy.  I identify with Peter--he was a guy prone to quick decisions.  Remember he also pulled a sword and relieved the High Priest's servant of an ear.  He was the one with the quick responses to Jesus' probing questions--not deeply contemplative answers--answers that came from an active mind, a passionate heart, but lacking the understanding and commitment that Jesus ultimately sought from Peter.  He is probably the guy who "dictated" the book that Mark transcribed--short, lacking a lot of detail, the Cliff Notes of the Gospels.
I wonder if Peter had an element of what is called bipolar disorder--he was on top of the world, all-in, full speed ahead; then he wasn't and he was in despair at his lack of courage.

I spend a lot of time evaluating medical students and residents for their performance in the care of newborns. If Peter showed up as an intern I would cringe.  I have had more than a few soul mates of Peter's come through the newborn nursery or the NICU over the years--eager, reactive, exuberant--similar to a young horse romping in the pasture with you in the saddle--unpredictable and dangerous if you let them have their head, but with patience (a lot of patience) from the faculty they became great physicians with their passion intact.

Isn't it amazing that Jesus chose this unpredictable personality to be the rock upon which he founded his church?  Jesus saw through Peter's shallow thoughts and saw a man who could develop a deep and penetrating understanding of Jesus' mission.  Jesus saw through Peter's unbridled enthusiasm and knew He had a man whose passion would carry the Gospel when bridled with the maturity of the Holy Spirit. Jesus saw a man whose desperation at his failings would be the catalyst for commitment after the resurrection.

I think Jesus sees us in a similar way: He knew before we were born we would have moments of deep regret in which we mightily failed Him.  We could view those failings as catastrophic and unforgivable.  Jesus does not; the Lie that we are tempted to believe is that we can do something to separate ourselves from Jesus. The Truth is His sacrificial death was a statement of His commitment to us and His resurrection was the proof of the power of God over sin and death.

Peter and Judas both denied Jesus in their own way.  Both men regretted their decisions. One repented and became a leader of the church; one thought himself beyond hope and hung himself without ever really believing the Truth. We are presented with the same choices that Peter and Judas were when we sin against our Savior.  The act of denial and betrayal can become a door opening to the work of the Holy Spirit through repentance. Or it can become a pit of prideful despair--"I am so bad even God cannot forgive me"--a statement which is a lie that causes us to hide from God just as Adam and Eve did in the Garden.

The more we live in His Presence in the present, the more He opens our eyes to our shortcomings, not for the purpose of condemnation, but to give us strength to restoration through the Holy Spirit; to remove our denial, to penetrate to our core and relieve us of the tension that comes through pretense.  Jesus was always at work healing when He was on earth, and He still is.  He healed Peter, He is actively healing our spirits as we live in the light of His Word.  Pray for me and I will pray for you that we gain the understanding He wills for us to have and that we receive His healing with an open heart.

Thank you, Jesus.